What's the difference between a french horn and a seamstress?

A: A seamstress says, "tuck the frills."

 

Why do alto saxophones always play the same notes as the french horns?

A: Someone has to get the pitch right!

 

What did the trumpet player say after someone exclaimed, "Thank you, God?"

A: "You're Welcome!"

 

How do you get a piccolo player to play soft?

A: You shoot them.

 

How do you get a trumpet player to be sensitive?

A:...........

 

When do you know there is a clarinetist knocking at your door?

A: The knocking speeds up.

 

Why does the lead flutist always miss notes?

A: She thought the key signature was a suggestion.

 

When should a clarinetist change his/her reed?

A: When there is a tough spot in the music.

 

Why do trombones always glissando?

A: It's the only thing they can do correctly.